01.
Spontaneous skipping
You intended to walk to the shops. At some point, both feet left the ground in an unmistakably jaunty manner.
A steadier path begins here
There is no shame in walking normally.
You went out for a sensible stroll. You saw a meadow. One thing led to another. At Gambollers Anonymous, we understand how quickly an ordinary walk can become something altogether more exuberant.
Discretion assured. No names requested. No skipping required.
GA / FIELD OBSERVATIONSCASE NO. 0001
EXCESSIVE
FROLICKING
OBSERVED
FROLICKING
OBSERVED
A routine walk. A regrettable incident.MEADOW SECTOR 04
STATUS: ACTIVE
STATUS: ACTIVE
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
01 / Recognition02 / Restraint03 / A sensible walking pace
Early indicators
Know the warning signs.
Gamboling rarely announces itself. It begins with a lightness in the step and proceeds, all too frequently, to outright capering.
02.
Meadow susceptibility
Open fields, wildflowers, and particularly inviting grassy slopes produce an unreasonable sense of possibility.
03.
Concealed frolicking
You have described an afternoon of enthusiastic prancing as “just getting some fresh air.”
Our solemn commitment
Joy is natural.
Bounding is optional.
We believe every person deserves the opportunity to move through a public space at a controlled, socially unremarkable speed. Whether you have merely flirted with a skip or surrendered entirely to the lure of the dell, there is a place for you here.
“I used to think I could stop at one little hop. Then spring arrived.”— AN ANONYMOUS GAMBOLLER
Private self-evaluation
Do you have a gamboling problem?
Our twelve-question preliminary assessment offers a measured evaluation of your current relationship with skipping, frolicking, and unlicensed exuberance.
01 Twelve carefully considered questions
02 No personal information collected
03 Results delivered immediately
GAMBOLING PROPENSITY INDEX01 / 12
QUESTION 01
Have you ever begun an ordinary walk only to discover yourself bounding playfully?
ASSESSMENT COMPLETE
AFFIRMATIVE RESPONSES / 12
Entirely confidential. Your answers remain in this browser and are not transmitted or saved.
The literature department
Resources for the road ahead.
Official literature is now available for public distribution. Examine a few sample pages before downloading. The Department asks that you refrain from leaping to conclusions.
ISSUED / PUBLICATION 01
The Gambollers Anonymous Handbook
Sixteen pages on recognizing the first hop, the twelve administrative measures, sponsorship, and suitably solemn paperwork.
ISSUED / PUBLICATION 02
The Gamboller's Field Guide
Eighteen pages of institutional concern about meadows, dells, brooks, orchards, and dangerously picturesque environments.
AUTHORIZED / FORM 30-A
Thirty Days Gambol-Free
A printable certificate acknowledging thirty days of measured locomotion. Now available with your name and recognition date entered before the Department issues a printable certificate.
One measured step at a time
Tomorrow begins with an ordinary walk.
No leaps. No bounds. No unnecessarily jaunty changes of direction. Just you, the pavement, and a renewed sense of composure.
Evaluate your gamboling tendencies ↗